but now i'm found
by ILoveLeonardPenny
Summary: Summary:Ten years ago, Penny moved away from Pasadena to a job in New York as a screenwriter. Now, after multiple rejections, she starts to question where she’s going in life, and starts to feel lost. Until one night, she finds a box in the back of her closet, reminding her of Leonard. She sets off on a journey to find him and reunite with the person that she hasn’t seen in ten yea
1. chapter 1

Title:But Now I'm Found

Pairings:Leonard/Penny, Leonard/OC

Fandom:The Big Bang Theory

Rating:PG-13

Warnings:Spoilers up until the end of season 3.

Word Count:15,479

Summary:Ten years ago, Penny moved away from Pasadena to a job in New York as a screenwriter. Now, after multiple rejections, she starts to question where she's going in life, and starts to feel lost. Until one night, she finds a box in the back of her closet, reminding her of Leonard. She sets off on a journey to find him and reunite with the person that she hasn't seen in ten years. Meanwhile, a certain girl in Leonard's office attempts to ask him out. Will Penny make it to Leonard in time, or will she lose him to this girl?

A/N:First off, I have to say several apologies because I know this is late. Something came up and I didn't get a chance to post it earlier. Written forBIGBANGBIGBANG. Author isTBBTLLH.Special thanks toTOBIMONKEEfor the art! :D

"Molly, what is this all about?" Leonard held up a ragged piece of paper, a name and phone number scrawled across the sheet in messy handwriting. In his other hand, he was holding a wrinkled brown briefcase stuffed with his laptop and various papers. Books with complicated covers were tucked neatly under his arm. He was dressed in a black suit with a white shirt, his blazer unbuttoned and his tie loosened around his neck.

"Oh, some executive called. Said he wants to meet with you. Something about an amazing job opportunity. He wants you to call him back as soon as possible."

Molly, perched in the desk next to Leonard's office, was armed with two cell phones, a pager, and a very complex headset. The words, "Molly Jones, Secretary," were plastered on the side of her desk. She had long blonde hair that draped her shoulders and glasses that brightened her blue eyes. Her fingernails were painted a dull pink and she was smartly dressed in a white blouse and navy skirt and jacket. A petite woman, she was almost as tall as Leonard when she stood up.

"Okay, thanks," replied Leonard. He pushed the door to his office open and threw his books and briefcase down on the carpeted floor. The pager that was clipped to the side of his belt was plucked and thrown to the table. The cell phone in his hand was tossed someplace unknown. He flopped down on the couch that was conveniently placed next to the door and closed his eyes. "What an exhausting day," he mumbled.

He slowly drifted to sleep, the piece of paper slightly crumpled in his hands.

Penny sank into the armchair next to the producer's office. People were scattered all around her, chattering away on their cell phones, scribbling on notepads. Some people were frantically running around her, cups of coffee in each hand, rushing to some studio head's office in the near distance. She had her wavy blonde hair messily tied up into a ponytail, resulting in several strands of hair brushing against her fair skin. A charm bracelet sparkled on her wrist, jangling loudly as she moved it. She wore black dress pants and a wrinkled pink blouse, along with a silver necklace.

She was struggling to come up with ideas, her tired eyes screaming exhaustion. She twirled her pen in her hand, the other hand impatiently tapping on the notepad she had in her lap. The notepad donned her neat handwriting, some words crossed out, others frantically added in the margins.

A red-haired woman walked up to her, a bright smile on her face. "Hey, Penny. How's your screenplay coming?"

Penny looked up and smiled back. "Oh, not too well. I've got writer's block."

"Aw, that sucks. When does the producer want the script?"

"Um…now." Penny chuckled uncomfortably.

Just then, the producer's door flew open and a white-haired, overweight, temperamental man walked out. He stood directly in front of Penny, his dark eyes boring holes right through Penny. The woman behind him subtly backed away as Penny straightened up and cleared her throat.

His voice was hoarse and rough. "Well? Are you done?" Penny looked at him with an uneasy expression. The producer glanced at her notepad and gave her a grimacing look. "You're fired."

Penny squeaked, but before she could say anything, the producer had slammed the door and was back in his office. She quietly put her pen in her purse, closed her notepad, stood up, and slowly walked out of the studio. Every step felt heavy and she felt like every pair of eyes was watching her. She had experienced rejection before, but something was different this time. As she got into her car, she started to cry.

"What's wrong with me?" she mumbled through her tears. "What's going on?"

Penny had been rejected so many times before. There were times of rejection much worse than the one she had just experienced. Yet she felt crushed. It was like something was missing. Something major.

It had been ten years.

Penny had gotten a job as a screenwriter and was quickly getting offer after offer. Her scripts were amazing, studios had welcomed her, and she was heading to success.

She had broken up with Leonard a few months ago. She knew she overreacted and that breaking up with Leonard was the worst decision she ever made. She knew she desperately wanted her Leonard in her arms again. But she couldn't look back. It was a new beginning for her this time.

Her fourth script had just been accepted by another studio, and she already raked in a pile of money. It was then that she decided she should move on.

The apartment of 4B was stuffed with boxes and boxes of clothes, makeup, shoes, pots, pans, and magazines. Penny looked around her, a smile forming on her face. She wasfinallygetting the life of fame she wanted.

Leonard was in his bedroom, his knees pulled up to his chest and his head buried in his arms. He was still experiencing the heart-aching scars that accompanied his breaking up with Penny. He never, ever wanted to leave her, but something justhappened. And he hated it. Now the love of his life was moving away, and he didn't even have the guts to get up out of his room and say one final goodbye to her. He knew the farewell would be awkward, but he still longed to see her one last time.

With a sudden rush of confidence, he straightened up and looked at his bedroom door. Leonard got up off his bed, brushed his hair back, and walked out of his room. Every heartbeat echoed in his ears, his face flushed, and his head pounded with every step.

As Penny was taping the last box shut, her apartment door opened. Leonard poked his head inside, his face appearing gloomy and depressed. Penny was sitting on the couch, a roll of tape in her hands and her hair tied back. When her door opened, she looked up and smiled slightly, but no matter how hard he tried, Leonard couldn't bring himself to return the smile.

"Hi, Penny," Leonard mumbled quietly.

"Hey, sweetie."

Leonard was huddled next to the door, reluctant to enter her apartment. He fiddled with the doorknob, unconsciously twisting it back and forth in his hands. "Um…I just wanted to wish you good luck with your new life. I hope your success continues. And…goodbye."

He was on his way back to his apartment, but Penny stopped him, "Leonard, wait." He slowly turned around and faced her, his eyes not once making contact with hers. "Sweetie, sit down." She motioned to the cushion next to her. Leonard very slowly closed the door and shuffled over to the couch, sitting awkwardly far from her. "Listen, I know things have been weird between us since we broke up, but I just want you to know that you're still my best friend. I don't ever want to lose you." He kept his eyes away from her, suddenly finding the rug on Penny's ground very pleasing to look at. "Leonard…honey, look at me." He looked up, and Penny could see the despair in his eyes. She could see the pain that he was still experiencing, even though months had passed by. Penny, in response, moved closer to Leonard and held his hands. She looked directly into his eyes. "Leonard, I willalwayshave feelings for you. I willalwaysbe your friend. And I'm sorry that I have to leave, but I just need to create a new life for myself. I'm getting nowhere in this place, and now that I have an opportunity to be successful, I don't want to lose it. I may never get a chance like this again. You understand, right?"

Leonard nodded slowly, silently. Penny was close to tears; she really did not want to leave her life with the four sweetest guys in the world. But she knew she had to. With that, she leaned in and hugged Leonard tightly. He brought his arms around her and returned the hug.

Within minutes, Penny was out of the apartment, in her car, and down the road, never to see Leonard again. He held a special image of her in his heart: Penny in her car, looking back at him, blowing him a kiss and waving one last time. They both knew they could still talk to each other on the phone or email each other, but from that day forward, something unexplainable happened. Because neither of them saw the other person again.

Leonard opened his eyes, his myopia blurring the room around him. He blinked a few times, rubbing his eyes, before putting on his glasses. He groaned, sitting up on the couch and yawned, unintentionally letting the scrap of paper that was in his hands fall to the ground. Sluggishly crawling over to his desk, he looked for his cell phone. He scratched his head, looking under piles of books and papers, searching his pockets, and the couch. After a few minutes of frustration, he ended up on his hands and knees, scanning every inch of his office for his phone.

The door opened, and Molly entered to find Leonard on his stomach, peering under the couch.

She cleared her throat, "Um, Dr. Hofstadter?" Leonard froze and sheepishly looked up at her. "You don't have to crawl around looking under couches, I can always lend you some money," Molly smiled.

Leonard chuckled, replying, "I lost my cell phone. Do you know where it is?"

She scanned the room, pointing to the trash can next to his desk. "It appears you've thrown it away."

Leonard looked to where she was pointing and pulled his phone out of the trash, wiping it with the front of his shirt. "How the hell did it get in there…?" He quickly shrugged it off, turning back to Molly. "So, what did you want?"

"Dr. McGraw called again, he's wondering why you haven't called him back."

"Who?"

"Dr. McGraw. The executive whose number I gave you earlier today?"

"Oh, right. I completely forgot about that." He shoved his hands in his pockets, searching for the number. "Um…"

Molly smiled, plucking the scrap of paper from the ground and handing it to Leonard. "Are you okay, Dr. Hofstadter?"

"Uh, can't say that I've been great today. Why?"

"You're usually not like this. You're usually…responsible," Molly hesitantly replied, afraid she was going to offend Leonard.

"Yeah, I don't know. Something's been on my mind, and it's bugging me."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I wish I could talk about it, but I don't even know what's bothering me. Something just feels off, I don't know," Leonard shrugged, "Maybe it's just a bad day for me. Things will be better tomorrow."

"I hope so," Molly smiled. She gazed into his eyes. She secretly had a crush on Leonard, but kept it very close to herself. There was no way she was going to let something like this get out and risk losing her job. Besides, it was just a crush. They go away. Don't they?

Leonard nodded, smiling back. "You can go home if you want. I don't think there's anything else you need to do."

She smiled, nodding quickly, and left his office, leaving Leonard alone with his cell phone and the scrap of paper in his hand.

He sat down on the couch, staring at the number. He wasn't thinking about anything in particular, he just seemed to be floating away into another little world in his subconscious. After snapping back into reality, he dialed the number, hearing two rings before a man's voice came over the speaker.

"Dr. McGraw's office."

"Uh, hi, Dr. McGraw. I'm Dr. Leonard Hofstadter. I was told you wanted to speak with me?"

"Yes, that's right. How are you, Dr. Hofstadter?"

"I'm very well, thanks for asking. And yourself?"

"Fine, thank you. I called to offer you a very big opportunity. I want you to come and work for us. I want you to be our head researcher."

"Well, I appreciate the opportunity, but I'm already a head researcher."

"I understand. But with us, you will be working on one of the biggest opportunities available in the field of physics today. You will be working on…"

Penny tipped the bottle, pouring the last of the wine into her glass before gulping the rest down. She considered opening another bottle, but decided against it as she wasn't looking forward to a hangover the next morning. She had gotten home from her latest rejection and broke down, tearing apart her notepad and breaking her pencils in half before heading straight to the cupboard for a glass (or five) of wine.

Penny's apartment was considerably larger than her previous one. It was on the fourth floor and had two bedrooms and one bathroom, as well as a nicely furnished kitchen. She initially wanted to purchase the apartment because the money she was making was so much better than when she was a waitress at the Cheesecake Factory. But she was afraid about the hole she might have been digging herself into. She didn't want to get too invested into the apartment because if she lost her job as a screenwriter, she would have been in a lot of trouble financially. After such a good new life, she didn't want to deal with that kind of stress. So she took the safe road and rented the apartment. Her living room was decorated with a rainbow of colors, ranging from baby blue to hot pink. She had the same turquoise couch that she had in her old apartment, as well as the same pillows, coffee table, and chairs. There were only a few new items of furniture around the house, like her new silver TV stand and her mahogany cabinet. She didn't do much to the kitchen, on the other hand, as she didn't spend much time cooking, so she didn't care what it looked like. Her vacant bedroom was just that: vacant. It was almost completely empty, except for a few boxes she failed to unpack when she moved in and a couple of old suitcases. Whenever she didn't want to clean up her apartment for company, she simply threw her stuff in that room and locked the door. Her bedroom, however, looked almost exactly like her old one, except for the new television set on top of her dresser.

She kicked the empty wine bottle aside and groaned loudly, frustration setting in further. Penny got to the point where she started questioning where she was going in life. What was the point of her job if she wasn't happy? Where am I going to end up? Who am I going to end up with? Question after question cluttered her already scattered brain. Nothing, nowhere, and nobody, were the first answers that came to her mind.

"Oh crap," she muttered, getting up off the sofa and pacing around the living room of her apartment. She was heading down that depressing path she always went down whenever she got frustrated. And she certainly wasn't in any mood to start bawling and drinking more alcohol.

So she decided to distract herself. Penny walked to the desk that was against the window of her apartment and turned on her laptop. She sat down, tapping the wooden desk impatiently, waiting for the login screen to appear. A few more minutes passed by before she was signing into her email, scrolling through the 5630 unread messages. She never really went through all of them, she just clicked on the ones that seemed important and left the rest unread. Now seemed like a good time to go through those messages.

After the 1430th message, she found herself clicking on every message and marking them all as read.

"Oh, what the hell," she muttered, signing out of her email and closing her laptop.

She wandered off to her bedroom, slipping into a t-shirt and sweatpants, not bothering to take a shower before she crawled into bed. Grabbing her cell phone off the nightstand, she went through her voicemail.

You have 4 unread messages. First unread message. *beep*

Hey, Penny. It's Kathy. I got two tickets to a concert next week, wanna join me? Call me back!

Second unread message. *beep*

Penny, it's Crystal. I heard about what happened at work. I'm so sorry. If you need someone to talk to, I'm always here for you. Love you sweetie.

Third unread message. *beep*

This is Don Mendez calling for Penny Parker. I received your latest script. It's a great script, but unfortunately, it's not the kind of thing we're looking for at the moment. Thank you for taking the time to—

Penny hit the end button and threw her phone across the bed. She gave up after a few minutes of staring at the ceiling and went to sleep.

Molly had stuck around for a few minutes before she went home. She didn't have much to do besides work, anyway. She was single, lived alone, and most of her life revolved around Leonard's work schedule. Although she made good money, she lived in a small, furnished apartment just fifteen minutes from Leonard's office.

Molly hadn't had a boyfriend in months, either. Her last boyfriend ran out on her after she found out that he was cheating on her with some slut. She was sick of dating immature jerks and decided to boycott dating guys for the time being. She hoped along the way that she would find someone nice, kind, and sweet. Like Leonard.

Clearly, sparking a relationship with her boss could be the worst decision she could ever make. It was ludicrous to even think about it. But that never stopped her from having feelings. These strong, overwhelming feelings that she could hardly control…

She would often turn beet-red or giggle nervously whenever she was near him. But obviously, Leonard never had a clue about how she felt. She would giggle at one of his jokes, and he would smile back, every single hint passing right over his head.

Molly wanted so badly to make a move one day, but she was smart enough to understand that it would probably end in her disappointment. Not only that, but Leonard wasn't stupid enough to start something with his secretary.

She sighed, and packed up her things before strolling out to her car.

"Thank you, Dr. McGraw."

"Thank you for calling, Dr. Hofstadter. It was a pleasure to speak to you."

"So, uh, I will think about your offer and get back to you as soon as possible."

"There is absolutely no rush, Dr. Hofstadter. No need to rush into anything you are not sure about."

"Thanks for understanding. Have a good night, Dr. McGraw."

"Good night, Dr. Hofstadter."

Leonard hung up the phone and blankly stared at the scrap of paper still in his hands. He had a lot to take in, after having been offered one of the biggest opportunities of his life. He dropped his phone and the paper on the couch before rubbing his forehead with his hands. There was no way he wanted to think about all this right now. There was too much going on for him to think this through properly.

He was just about to read through his mail that Molly dropped off on his desk earlier that day before he heard a faint knocking at his door. Raising his eyebrows, he wondered who it could be so late at night.

"Who is it?"

"Molly. Can I come in?"

Leonard walked over to the door and opened it, seeing Molly holding her purse and laptop and looking a little frightened.

"Molly. What are you still doing here? I thought you went home already."

"Um. Well, I stuck around for a few more minutes. You know, just checking my schedule and stuff," she replied casually. "I was going to leave, but…"

There was about ten seconds of awkward silence before Leonard spoke up.

"But what? Is something wrong?" he asked with genuine concern.

"I was in the parking lot, and I thought I saw somebody following me, so I ran back inside. It's a little scary out there," she mumbled. "And now I bet you think I'm weird," she laughed nervously.

"What? No, no. You're not weird. No, it's okay. I understand. It's late, everyone gets a feeling of fright every now and then. Besides, who knows who's prowling around the streets at night. You know, there is an increased chance of kidnappings at night, and…you're probably not interested in this, are you?" He fiddled with his hands and smiled awkwardly.

She giggled nervously and touched his arm. "No! I…love it when you ramble." She blushed, turning almost completely red.

"Uh, okay." He smiled back at her before moving the conversation along. "So, do you want me to walk you out?"

"Yes, that would be great," she said, relieved that Leonard understood. "So…um, Dr. Hofstadter, would you continue talking about that 'increased chance of kidnappings?'"

He laughed, saying, "All right, if you wish. By the way, you don't have to call me Dr. Hofstadter all the time. Leonard is fine with me." They walked toward the parking lot as Leonard continued talking.

When they got to her car, Molly pulled out her keys and waited for him to finish talking. "It's perfectly reasonable for you to have been scared, considering, you know…you're very…attractive." Leonard mumbled that last word, but Molly heard him loud and clear.

Her mouth dropped and her heart fluttered, and the only thing she could choke out at the moment was, "Uh…I should get going." Her voice got softer with each word.

Leonard was frozen, his heart beating rapidly.I can't believe I just said that.He managed to clear his throat and reply, "Yeah, yeah. It's late, you should get home."

Molly leaned in for a hug, but Leonard was very hesitant to return the gesture, considering what just came out of his mouth. Nevertheless, he couldn't leave her anticipating a hug and never give her one, so he wrapped his arms around her, gently squeezing her into a hug. They said their goodbyes and Molly drove off, leaving Leonard standing in the dark parking lot, alone, to think about what he said.

Penny opened her eyes, the nighttime coloring the room dark. She leaned over to turn on the light and sat up, rubbing her eyes. It was one in the morning and she could not stay asleep.

Tossing the covers aside, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and tapped her knees, thinking of something to do to distract herself. Her eyes observed her room, before ending on her closet door. She smiled, walking over and pulling the door open, revealing her massive storage of clothes, all in disarray. Shoes were scattered on the ground, some in their boxes, some not. Others with their missing partner, and some pairs without any box at all. Sweaters, tube tops, pajamas, skirts, jeans, jackets, shorts, dresses, all offered a colorful scheme to look at.

She got down on the ground and pulled out her shoes first, putting the pairs together and finding homes for each of them. Once she got to the back of her closet, she found four taped cardboard boxes. One of them was labeled 'Old Clothes' and the other was labeled 'Old Shoes.' But the third and fourth ones, in the very back, were unlabeled. Curious, she pulled them out. The items inside rattled and jangled and clattered. She reached into the drawer of her nightstand a pulled out a pair of scissors. Cutting the tape open, she opened the first unlabeled box and inside, it was filled with her past life. The life she had ten years ago with four of the sweetest guys in the world.

He paced back to his office, mouth gaping from that one word.Attractive? I had to say attractive? Great. Now she's going to think I'm in love with her and she's going to avoid me at all costs.Leonard knew he made a huge mistake. Not only did he not mean it inthatway, but he could tell that Molly took him more than seriously. And her reaction suggested that she less than happy about the situation.

"Oh, God," he moaned, flopping down on the couch in his office.

He knew what he had to do. He had to set this straight.

He thought about calling her, but realized she wouldn't get home for another twenty minutes or so. Instead, he closed his eyes, trying to get rid of the stress that had been building up for the past week. After a few minutes, he unintentionally fell asleep, mumbling something incoherently.

Penny's mouth dropped, her mouth slowly forming into a smile. She reached into the box and pulled out a rubber banded stack of pictures. She flipped through them, her grin getting wider and wider.

She saw several of the group sitting in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, eating their Chinese food, playing video games, or watching television. In a couple others, she saw the four guys playing with one of their toys, or battling each other in Halo, or just writing something on their whiteboards. Penny put the stack of photos on her nightstand, planning to go through all of them later.

As she looked through the rest of the box, she found comic books, a couple movies, and a DVD with nothing but a heart written on the top. She turned on the TV in her room and popped the disc into the DVD player. It turned out to be a series of videos of the five of them taken at random times, and mostly by Penny. As soon as the video started, she remembered the day when she bought her camcorder. She had a little extra money and decided to purchase one from the store. Being unsure about which camera to choose, Leonard tagged along and helped her choose one. She started using it the second she came home, entering Leonard and Sheldon's apartment with it already recording.

Sheldon was at his desk, typing something on his laptop and refusing to look at the camera.

Penny's voice could be heard in the background. "Sheldon, come on! Smile at the camera!"

"I fail to understand why it is so important for me to smile at a camera," said Sheldon, still not looking at the camera.

"Because it's fun! And I want a shot of each of you guys!"

Another voice came from the background. "Well, you can take a shot of me, honey."

The camera panned over to reveal Howard grinning seductively at the camera. He nodded at Penny and moved closer to the camera.

"Oh, Howard, go away." Penny's arm came in shot and pushed Howard away.

Behind Howard, Raj was sitting on the couch. He froze when Penny started to walk over to him.

"Raj, wave at the camera!"

Raj slightly grinned and shyly and awkwardly waved at her continuously, until Penny panned over to the right.

She focused on Leonard, who was holding his hands up and hiding from the camera.

"Aw, sweetie. Come on, Leonard! Smile!"

"No!" Leonard laughed, attempting to turn away from the camera.

Penny's giggle was heard from behind and she moved closer to him, pulling his hands away. She had no success with getting Leonard to smile for the camera until she started tickling him.

Penny sat on her bed, leaning against the headboard and clutching the remote against her chest. She smiled, tears forming in her eyes as she realized just how much she missed everyone. She watched as Leonard laughed uncontrollably and she couldn't help but laugh too.

"Oh, Leonard." Penny felt her heart jump a little at the memory of her best friend.

The video ended, and Penny wiped tears away from her face with the back of her hand. She pulled the DVD out of the player and set it aside. The box was now empty, so she closed it and shoved it back in her closet, keeping the DVD and photos outside.

Penny was ready to go back to sleep, until she remembered the other unlabeled box. She pulled it next to her and carefully opened it. When she opened it, she gasped, covering her mouth with her hand.

A loud car honk from outside startled Leonard awake. He groaned, his back and neck sore from the way he slept. He rubbed his eyes and yawned as he stood up and stretched. He pulled out his cell phone from his pocket and blinked a few times, trying to focus his vision. The time on the bright screen read 1:49 AM. Groaning at the late time, he decided to pack up and head home. He threw his books into his backpack and slung it over his left shoulder while picking up his laptop and briefcase before leaving the office. The drive home was quiet and dark, just like every single night before this one. As much as Leonard didn't want to admit it, it was depressing that he had to leave work everyday by himself instead of with a friend, or with a girlfriend or wife. He had no one to talk to, which meant running the risk of falling asleep during the drive home. He started thinking about what kind of life he had. All he did was sleep, eat, and work. He hardly did anything outside of his career. But even more depressing than a drive home alone or a life revolving around his career, was going home to see no one. He lived alone in an apartment that was about half an hour away from his office. He bought it after him and Sheldon moved out of their old apartment and went their separate ways. Sheldon went on to be a very successful theoretical physicist, while Leonard was offered his own dream opportunity of heading the research of one of the most important experiments in the physics world currently.

As much as he loved his job because it was something that he dreamed of doing his entire life, he couldn't help but once in a while think about his life ten years ago. With his best friends. With Sheldon, Howard, and Raj. And Penny. Penny, who he intentionally tried to not think about because it hurt too much. It hurt that he hadn't seen her in ten years and that he hadn't talked to her in who knows how long. He missed her the most, and it would depress him to think about being away from her. And possibly never being with her again. As his mother would say, it is probably why he immerses himself in his work. That's when he started questioning himself. The question that ran through his head the most was, "Who am I going to end up with?"

Leonard stared at the road ahead of him, his eyes getting more and more tired. There were hardly any cars on the streets, and everything was so quiet. So quiet…that he accidentally dozed off for half a second. Or maybe five seconds. Or half a minute. He wasn't sure how it happened since he had never fallen asleep at the wheel before, no matter how late it was. He practically jumped in his seat as he woke up to the sound of an ambulance's siren, now even more awake than he was before.

"Oh man,whatis wrong with me?"

After a few more minutes of some very attentive driving, Leonard pulled into his parking spot and wandered upstairs and into his apartment, which was on the fourth floor. He unlocked the door and turned on the light, dropping his briefcase and backpack next to the door. He took his laptop with him and walked into the kitchen. Glancing at the clock, he noted that it was 2:25 AM and very much time for him to go to bed. He put his laptop on the kitchen counter, opened the cabinet next to his refrigerator, and grabbed his container of pretzels.

Leonard stood there and stuffed a couple pretzels in his mouth. At the same time, he filled up a cup with water and washed down the salty snack. Pretzels were his midnight snack escape whenever he felt like he was over-thinking things. As Leonard stuffed a few more pretzels in his mouth, he noticed that the container was nearly empty. He made a note to buy more pretzels before realizing what the empty container meant.

He sighed, dumping his cup of water into the sink and instead heading into his refrigerator and opening a can of soda. He didn't care whether or not it had caffeine at the moment. He just felt like being unhealthy for a night. His soda-drinking soon led to him opening a bag of chips and container of ice cream. By then, it was nearly 2:45 and he knew he needed to stop himself before he was up all night eating junk food. He shoved a spoonful of mint chocolate chip ice cream into his mouth and put all the food away.

He dropped the spoon into the sink, grabbed his laptop, and headed to his bedroom. His bedroom was rather plain and conservative, as there wasn't much decoration hanging on the plain, white walls. Leonard dropped his laptop on his bed and walked into the bathroom to take a quick shower.

When he was done showering, he slipped on his boxers and white t-shirt and sleepily crawled into bed. He turned on his laptop and checked his email before turning off the light and falling asleep.

Penny had her hand over her mouth, eyes filling up with tears again. The very first thing she saw in that box was a red velvet pouch. And lying underneath that pouch was a blue sweatshirt. And under that, a photo album. She picked up the velvet pouch and carefully pulled out what was inside of it. The glass slide glistened beautifully in the light, and she could see the snowflake, right in the center. She smiled as tears began to fall down her face. Penny looked to the box again, seeing the blue, fluffy sweater that the snowflake was lying on top of. It was Leonard's favorite sweater. She pulled it out and held it to her face, smelling the sweater. A wide grin spread across her face as she recognized Leonard's scent after all this time. Suddenly she remembered something and looked on the sleeve of the sweater. A white bleach stain was on the sleeve and she laughed out loud, recalling that night.

Leonard had been sick with the flu for days, and Penny had stayed over at his apartment taking care of him. But he had been getting better and was able to sleep comfortably that night. However, despite his recovery, he complained that it was cold and slept in his blue sweater.

"Leonaaard," Penny groaned, rolling over and shaking her boyfriend awake.

Leonard mumbled into his pillow. "Mff. What is it?"

"I'm hungry."

"Hungry?" he lifted his head and squinted at his alarm clock. He pulled the little electronic box closer to his face and read the time. "Penny, it's 2:37 in the morning. Why are you hungry?"

"I don't know. I'm just hungry. Honey, can we eat something?"

"'We?'I'mnot hungry. Why don't you just get something from the kitchen real fast and go back to sleep?"

"Noooo," she whined. "Come with me." She tugged his sweater toward her.

Leonard wasn't coherent enough to argue any further, so he agreed, slipping on his glasses. They both got up, Penny walking into the kitchen and Leonard following behind. He walked down the hall, nearly off-balance from being so tired.

"So what do you want to eat?" Leonard yawned as he plopped down on the ground.

"Honey, don't sit on the ground."

"Why not? It's clean." He lay on his side and closed his eyes, eager to doze off. Penny gently kicked him in the stomach before he was able to fall asleep. "Ow…Penny."

She giggled, pulling him up from the ground. He smiled at her and gave her a poke in the ribs in return. As Penny scanned for a midnight snack, Leonard jumped onto the island in the kitchen and sat on top, cross-legged. Penny stuck her head in the refrigerator and emerged with chocolate chip cookies and soy milk.

"Here." Penny passed him the container of cookies as she retrieved two glasses.

"I didn't know we had cookies," Leonard said, excitedly opening the plastic cover.

"I was hiding it. It's my way of apologizing for waking you up while you're sick."

Leonard shoved half a cookie into his mouth, mumbling, "It's okay. I'm not really sick anymore, anyway."

"I can tell," she laughed, watching him talk with a mouthful of cookie. She passed him the glass of milk, which he drank a few gulps of before devouring another cookie. The scene easily amused Penny. "Don't eat so fast, sweetie. You'll get a stomachache."

"Stomachaches I can deal with. Don't you remember the last few days?" he grinned, reaching for his third cookie.

"Hey, I thought you weren't hungry," Penny teased, pinching his cheek.

"That was before I knew we had cookies."

She smiled, reaching for a cookie herself before jumping up onto the island and sitting next to Leonard. She laid her head on his shoulder and they sat in silence while eating their snack.

Once the container was empty, Penny jumped down and took everything to the sink, washing up before returning to where Leonard was sitting. By the time she had turned around, he was fast asleep, lying on his side, with his arm tucked under his head.

Unfortunately, he had not noticed that he'd fallen asleep on top of a plate of red Jell-O that Penny had been making for dessert the next night. The gelatin was mashed under his arm and the red food coloring had already soaked into his sleeve. Penny laughed out loud before shaking Leonard awake.

She pulled the sweater over her shirt and retrieved the last thing from the box, the photo album. The cover was red and purple, and the edges were embroidered with shiny gold. Penny brushed her hand over the cover before opening it. The very first picture in the album was Leonard holding Penny in his arms. They were in Leonard and Sheldon's apartment, and they were sitting in Leonard's chair. She was on his lap, and he had his arms wrapped around her, their faces pressing against each other. Their smiles and the look in their eyes exuded love.

Penny stared at the picture for what seemed like an eternity. She was crying, and constantly wiping tears away from her face with the sleeves of the sweatshirt, but she could not stop smiling. As she flipped through the rest of the album, every single memory of her and Leonard came rushing back. The sheer emotional intensity of just those memories was enough to keep her crying until dawn.

There were pictures of them kissing, of them hugging, of him tickling her, and her tickling him. There were photos of them sleeping, and photos of them just goofing off. Penny was always the one with the camera. It was either her digital camera, or the camera in her phone. She never wanted to miss a moment with Leonard. She capturedeverything. And now it was all in here, in this one album.

Penny knew she was going to be going through this album for days to come, so she set it on her bed. The clock now read 3:15 AM, and she sighed, thinking that she should go to sleep soon. Even though she didn't have to work tomorrow, she knew that if she stayed up any longer, she would go through that photo album ten more times, spending at least two minutes staring at each and every picture and memorizing every little detail.

She was just about to close the box until something stopped her. The bottom flap of the box was lifted slightly. She reached inside and lifted the flap, revealing a USB drive. Penny took it out and stared at it, confused. She had never seen this before.

Curious, she ran and got her laptop and stuck the drive into the port. She sat on her bed, tapping her knees, waiting for the drive to load. The window opened, and she froze.

"Oh my God."

Her phone rang out from under her pillow, waking her. It was nearly 3:30 in the morning. She felt around under her pillow for her cell phone and sleepily greeted the caller, "Hellooo?"

"Hey, Molly. It's Christine. I'm so sorry to call you at this time, but I need your help."

"Mm, what's going on?"

"My car broke down, and I'm stranded on the freeway. Can you come get me?"

Molly yawned, slowly sitting up. "Yeah, sure. Where are you?"

"I'm on the 94, somewhere near the airport."

"All right, I'll find you."

"Thanks so much."

"Sure, no problem."

She hung up her cell phone, blankly staring at the time and groaning after finding out it was three in the morning. After about forty-five minutes of searching and two cups of coffee, she found a tow truck and Christine's car on the side of the highway and pulled over. Christine ran over to Molly's car and repeatedly thanked her for picking her up.

Christine was Molly's best friend. They had known each other since elementary school and were practically inseparable ever since. They always had each other's backs and always told each other everything. Christine had dark brown hair that barely brushed her shoulders and brown eyes that sparkled just like Molly's eyes did.

She hopped into the passenger's seat and Molly drove to Christine's house, which was about twenty minutes away from where they were. Christine started the conversation; she was always the more talkative one, anyway.

"So, how was work? Did you turn red like all the other times you talked to Leonard?"

Molly laughed, embarrassed. "Shut up. It's not like you've never had a crush before."

"I never said I didn't! So anything interesting happen?" Molly fell silent, but grinned. Christine noticed immediately and her mouth dropped. "Oh my goodness.What happened?"

"Hey, don't interrogate me. I reserve the right to keep my mouth shut."

"Oh, not with me, you don't! Tell me!"

"All right, all right," she chuckled. She searched for a way to tell her what happened without making it seem like her and Leonard were a sure thing. But it proved to be a challenge. "He called me attractive."

Christine squealed, flailing her hands in the air. She was practically screaming all of her next questions. "What did you do?!"

"It's nothing to scream about," she said between fits of laughter. "But I got to admit, it's pretty awesome!"

"So you think he's going to ask you out?"

"I don't know. I couldn't think of anything to say after he said that word…and I think it seemed like I wasn't really into what he said."

"Oh God, what did you say?"

"I said I should go home."

"Molly!"

"What?! Leonard called meattractive, what was I supposed to say without it seeming like I've been in love with him for months?"

"Oh I don't know, maybe something that doesn't make you sound like a girl that just came from a horrible date?"

"Come on, it'll be fine."

"You better hope that didn't ruin your chances with him."

Their conversation went on for a while, ending with the decision that Molly would go to work the next day and ask Leonard out on a date. She was reluctant about doing it, but realized that she probably would never find another guy like this. Tomorrow was her chance. It was now or never.

Penny ran her finger across the mouse pad on her laptop, her mouth still gaping from the files that she saw.

On the drive, Leonard had stored every single piece of memory from their relationship. Pictures, videos, emails, text messages, instant messaging conversations, webcam chats. He recordedeverything.

She couldn't believe it; it was all here. Hundreds of pictures. Hundreds of text files containing their emails and text messages. Penny was overwhelmed by just how much she saw. But she was even more overwhelmed that Leonard compiled everything, for her.

This was more than enough to make Penny an emotional train wreck for days. She couldn't go through it all now; it was too much. So she turned off her laptop and forced herself to sleep.

It turned out to be a good decision. Because if Penny had gone through everything in that drive and reached the last file in that window, she may not have gone to sleep that night.part 2


	2. but now i'm found chapter 2

Title:But Now I'm Found

Pairings:Leonard/Penny, Leonard/OC

Fandom:The Big Bang Theory

Rating:PG-13

Warnings:Spoilers up until the end of season 3.

Word Count:15,479

Summary:Ten years ago, Penny moved away from Pasadena to a job in New York as a screenwriter. Now, after multiple rejections, she starts to question where she's going in life, and starts to feel lost. Until one night, she finds a box in the back of her closet, reminding her of Leonard. She sets off on a journey to find him and reunite with the person that she hasn't seen in ten years. Meanwhile, a certain girl in Leonard's office attempts to ask him out. Will Penny make it to Leonard in time, or will she lose him to this girl?

A/N:Written forbigbangbigbang. Author istbbtllh.Special thanks totobimonkeefor the art! :D

Leonard was on his stomach, one arm shoved under his pillow and the other arm next to his face. He calmly breathed in and out, his breathing occasionally taking a pause from his sleep apnea. The alarm rang out loudly, and Leonard slammed his hand on the off button. He rolled over, rubbing his eyes and putting on his glasses.

It was 6:30 AM. Time to get up and go to work. As he got ready, he remembered last night. About calling his secretary 'attractive.' He dreaded having the awkward conversation with her at work that day. But he had to be honest with her.

He grabbed a quick cup of coffee on his way to work after having a small piece of toast for breakfast. By the time he got to his office, Molly was already there.

It seemed like she had no recollection of the night before, as she was smiling brightly and cheerily greeted Leonard when he walked in. He wondered why she was being so normal around him. He considered dropping the whole situation because she didn't seem to be affected by any of it, but he knew that was just the easy way out.

But he figured he could just stall a little before talking to her. There was no harm in that, anyway, he thought.I'll talk to her tonight. It's no big deal.

"Good morning, Dr. Hofstadter."

"Morning, Molly. How's your morning going?"

"Oh, it's just great."

"That's good." Molly beamed, staring at Leonard with a look of lust. Leonard looked back at her, noticing the way she was looking at him. "Everything okay, Molly?"

"Oh! Yes, everything's fine. I'm sorry, I just have a lot of things on my mind."

"All right…" He walked into his office, and despite the glaring signs of attraction radiating from Molly, he didn't suspect a thing.

Penny groaned quietly, opening her eyes to the sunlight shining in through the window. It felt like she had been sleeping for years, but when she glanced at the clock on the wall, it was only eleven in the morning.

She looked to her right and saw her pink laptop on the bed, with the flash drive she found in the box sitting on top. She licked her lips, staring at the drive and wondering when she should look through everything. Sighing, Penny grabbed the drive and turned on her laptop, sticking it into the port.

When the window launched, her heart jumped a little, facing all those files of her and Leonard's relationship.

She decided she would ease herself into it, so instead of opening everything, she just read the names of the files. And even that was enough to send her into a crying wreck.

2/14/10, 20th webcam chat.avi

2/02/10, Disneyland trip.avi

1/12/10, 16th instant messaging conversation.txt

10/29/09, 119th text message.txt

4/30/10, Stuart's cousin's wedding.jpg

The list went on and on. Penny couldn't believe that he had names and dates for everything.

She scrolled down to the very bottom and came across a video file named, "For Penny, 4-29-10" April 29th, 2010. The day she left Pasadena. The day she left Leonard.

At this point, a million things were going through her mind. But now, the only thing she could think about was, "What did he record?"

She opened the video file, and she saw Leonard, sitting at his laptop, talking into the webcam. He was in his room, and sitting on his bed, apparently. He looked tired, and looked like he had been crying for quite some time. He wasn't wearing his normal clothes, either. He was dressed sloppily in a sweatshirt with sleeves that were too long for him. His appearance ripped Penny's heart to shreds. She had no idea what he was going through when she announced that she was leaving Pasadena. She obviously had no idea just how badly she hurt him by leaving.

"Hi Penny. So today you're leaving. For your new career. I'm really proud of you, you worked really hard for this. I just wanted to give you one last message. Um, I'm sure you'll see it when you get home. I just wanted to say that I'm going to miss you so much. You've taught me a lot about the real world, and about being, well, normal." He chuckled and shifted rather uncomfortably on his bed. His voice got softer as he continued. "You're my best friend. And I'll be completely honest with you, I don't want you to leave. I never wanted you to leave. But I don't want this to influence your decision. You should take the job because it's what is best for you. It's the opportunity of a lifetime, and even I wouldn't turn it down. So I'll wrap this up. I wish we can keep in touch. I don't want to lose contact with you. I hope our friendship continues strong, and maybe we can meet up sometime, even though we'll be so far away. So good luck." Leonard ducked his head down, and it looked like he was struggling to speak again. "Listen, I want to meet you near your new place. I'll be at Central Park on Monday the 3rd of May. I just want to spend some time with you. I-I want to see if we can make this work again. If you don't show up or if you don't call me, then I'll assume that you don't want to try again. But I sincerely hope you'll think about it and meet me there. Bye Penny." He gave her one last smile, albeit a shaky one, before the video ended.

Penny's heart dropped. "Oh God. Oh, no." She tugged at her hair, sobbing openly now.

Suddenly she remembered about the box. The day she was supposed to leave, when Leonard had come over to talk to her, he dropped off a box. He had asked her to open it as soon as she got settled into her apartment. She had no idea what was in it, but promised him that she would open it as soon as possible. But she never did. She was too busy with her work to go through every box, and that included the box that Leonard gave her.

She was mentally kicking herself for not opening the box when she got to the apartment.Why did I have to be so damn lazy?She didn't even want to imagine how badly she hurt Leonard by not showing up. It broke her heart. She couldn't bear to picture the look on Leonard's face when he realized that she wasn't going to show up.

"What have I done?"

Without thinking, she picked up her phone and looked through her phonebook. She got to Leonard's phone number before realizing that it had been ten years.Ten years.There was no way he was still living with Sheldon in Pasadena. Not even his cell phone number had to be the same. But she didn't care. It was worth trying. For Leonard, it was worth it.

The phone on the other end rang three times before a female voice came over the line. By then, her hopes had been shattered.

"Hello?"

"Uh, hi. Is Leonard there?"

A short pause came from the other line, confirming Penny's assumption. "Um, I'm sorry. I think you got the wrong number. There's no Leonard here."

"Oh okay. I'm sorry. Thanks."

"Sure."

Penny hung up her phone and tossed it back on her nightstand. She was racking her brain, trying to figure out how she could get in touch with Leonard.

She turned to her laptop and opened her browser, typing in "Dr. Leonard Hofstadter" into the Google search bar. She had no idea what he was doing now, so maybe this would help her get some kind of lead on where he must be working now.

The first search result she came across was the website of some research company located in Chicago. She clicked on the link and searched for Leonard's name. It turns out he was heading a big research project. Penny smiled, feeling proud of where Leonard ended up in his career. She frantically wrote down the address she found at the bottom of the screen. Unfortunately, in her rush, she hadn't noticed that there was more than one address.

Leonard sat down at his desk, typing up one of his reports on his laptop. He had been working on this particular report for several weeks and it had enveloped his life at the moment.

Molly finished up a letter at her desk and now she had free time. Now was her chance to ask Leonard what she had been planning all day. All she could think about was the right way to ask him out. She had never really asked out a guy before, it was always the other way around. But she thought it was time for a change of pace in hopes that her relationships would go a little better. She couldn't quite figure out the right words to choose when asking him out until the end of the day.

Just as Molly got up to go into his office, Leonard had been thinking about finally having that conversation with her. As he saved his report, he started thinking about how to talk to her. However, before he could find the right words, he heard a knock at his door.

"Come in."

Molly entered, smiling and holding the letter she just wrote in her hands. "Here, Dr. Hofstadter, I finished the letter you asked me to write."

Leonard took the letter from her and set it down on his desk. "Oh, thank you, Molly. I appreciate it. I would have done it myself, but I'm very busy with this report right now."

"It's no problem, Dr. Hofstadter. I'm always happy to help."

"Thanks. And please, call me Leonard. I'm not all that used to hearing Dr. Hofstadter all the time."

Molly laughed quietly. "Okay. Leonard."

He turned back to his report before realizing that Molly was still standing at his desk. He looked up. "Was there something else you needed?"

"Um, well…" She shifted nervously. "I do have something to ask you."

"Okay. Shoot." Leonard turned all of his attention to her.

"Uh, I was thinking…do you want to go to dinner with me tonight?"

Penny immediately threw a bunch of her clothes into a suitcase and packed her essentials. She didn't know how long she would be gone, so she stuffed as much as she possibly could into her one suitcase.

It all seemed like rushed decisions in her mind, but she knew that it was the right decisions. She had to set this straight.

After calling for a cab, she grabbed her keys and arrived at the airport within half an hour. While in the cab, she had called the airport trying to book the quickest flight to Chicago. The next flight was leaving at one in the afternoon, which gave her about half an hour to check in and get on the plane.

She ran through the airport, looking for the right places to go. She nearly missed the plane, but made it on, out of breath from running across the airport.

By the time she was on the plane, she realized just how fast she was doing everything. She had found out about Leonard just that morning, and she was already on the plane flying to Chicago to look for him. She hadn't realized that her feelings were so intense. She never would have done this for any other guy. Which made her realize just how important Leonard was to her. He really did ruin her for other guys. Because he was perfect, despite his flaws.

The plane took off. And Penny was on her way to find the love of her life. She had started her journey.

Leonard blinked, trying to think of something to say, but his brain was blown from her question. It was the last thing he expected her to ask him. He looked at her, and she was turning red. He had to say something. Anything.

"Uh, dinner? Tonight? I-I don't know, Molly." Her heart sank, and her smile disappeared. He started stammering even more than he already was. "N-Not that I wouldn't l-love to go to dinner with you, but…I-I'm pretty busy with this report right now."

Molly brightened up a bit, but Leonard couldn't tell if she was genuinely relieved by his response. "Oh, of course! I understand. I'm sorry, I should have known that you would be busy with your report."

"No, it's okay."

"So, is there any other day you're free?"

"Um. I don't know. I'm going to have to get back to you on that. There are a few meetings that I haven't decided whether or not I should attend. How about I call you…tomorrow?"

"Okay, sure." She smiled and left the office.

As soon as she closed the door, Leonard let out a sigh, whispering under his breath, "Oh crap. What the hell did I just say?"

The truth was he didn't want to go out with her. Ever since Penny left, he was reluctant to go out with women for a while. Sure, he had a few flings, but they were anything but serious. He never planned on getting serious with anyone for a while. He just wanted to focus on his work.

As much as he wanted to call Molly and tell her that he didn't want to go out with her, he felt bad about rejecting her. She was one of the kindest people he ever met. She was funny, pretty, responsible, smart, everything he'd always thought he'd end up with. But there was just a certain quality that was missing. She wasn't Penny.

Penny had been thinking about things on the plane ride over. She started rethinking her entire life. Exactly where she was going. Which was nowhere, at this point. Leonard was her one chance to have a new change in her life. But even if she wasn't seeking a change in her life, she was going to Chicago to set things straight. To apologize to Leonard about not showing up. To apologize to him about…everything.

She felt so depressed and frazzled, she wanted to drink as much alcohol as she could in the ninety minute plane ride. But she kept reminding herself who she was going to see. And she didn't want to show up in front of him drunk. Even so, she was nervous. More nervous than she had ever been in her life. Of course she had to be nervous. She was going to see a person she hadn't seen in ten years. She was going to see her best friend, her ex-boyfriend, that she hadn't seen in ten years. They haven't talked for so long that Penny was scared about what might happen.

Oh God, what if he doesn't remember me? What if he's married now? What if he doesn't want me back and I'm just wasting my time going to see him?

Penny started to think she made a mistake. She started getting doubts. Enough doubts to make her get off this plane and fly right back to New York.

But then she remembered his video. No, she couldn't leave. Even if she was never getting back together with him, he deserved to hear some kind of apology from her. Penny knew that if she didn't apologize to him, she would feel guilty for the rest of her life.

She looked at the address in her hand again. She didn't know how long it would take for her to get there from the airport, but she didn't care if this place was on the other side of Illinois. She was determined to find him.

Leonard was still at his desk, now banging his head against the surface. He knew he needed to tell her the truth, but he just didn't want to. He was terrified of breaking her heart. Suddenly he realized something that had flown over his head for so long. Molly was attracted to him.

After this realization, he panicked even more. He didn't want to believe it at first because it seemed so impossible. But then he remembered all those times when he caught Molly staring at him only to hear the same excuse from her, "I have a lot of things on my mind right now."

How on earth did I not see this before?

Perfect, he thought. Now it was going to be even harder to tell Molly that not only was he not attracted to her, but he didn't want to go out with her.

He kicked the ground with his feet, muttering "Damn it" over and over again.

After sitting in silence fidgeting with his hands for half an hour, he mustered up the courage to tell her the truth. He walked outside and saw Molly at her desk. She instantly looked up at him and smiled. But her smile slowly disappeared after watching Leonard's expression. She could tell he was going to say something heartbreaking to her. And she knew exactly what he wanted to say.

"Dr. Hofstadter…"

He held up his hand to stop her. "Please. I really don't want to say this but…"

"Oh no," she groaned.

He sighed. "Yeah. Listen, I'm really sorry. I just…it's not a good time for me right now to go out with anyone. Lately I've been really confused about a few things. I don't know what's going on with me, but this is far from the best time for me to go out with anyone. It's not you, though. It's definitely me. I'm just trying to concentrate on my work right now." He paused. "Wow, that didn't sound cliché at all."

She smiled slightly. "It's okay, Dr. Hofstadter. Leonard. I don't mind."

"Really?" he asked with hope in his voice.

"Yeah. I understand."

"Oh good. Thank you."

"Mmhm." She nodded, smiling. But she didn't understand. She didn't understand why he didn't like her. Why he didn't want to go out with her. What was wrong? No, she didn't understand at all.

Leonard retreated back to his office, feeling an enormous amount of weight lifted off his shoulders.

She practically flew off the plane once it landed. She rushed to find a cab and got in, stuffing her suitcase onto the seat next to her.

She handed the driver the address written on the piece of paper and asked him to get her there as soon as possible.

"Do you know how long it'll take to get there?"

"Mmm…I'd say a good two hours."

"Okay, take me there."

Penny sat back in her seat, trying to find something to occupy herself with so she wouldn't think too much. Otherwise, she would have ended up crying in front of the cab driver. It was a good thing the cab driver struck up a conversation with her because she couldn't think of anything to do besides look at her phone.

"You okay?" The driver looked at her through the rear view mirror. "You seem a little jumpy."

"Oh," she chuckled. "I'm just nervous."

"About what?"

"Well, there's this guy. He's my best friend. But we haven't seen each other in ten years. He works at that address I gave you. I'm going to see him."

"Well, that sounds exciting. What's he like?"

"Oh, he's the greatest," she said without any hesitation. "I mean, he was a little quirky when I first met him, but it turned out to be one of his most adorable qualities. He's really smart too. He's an experimental physicist. And he's really sweet and kind, and he'll do anything for his friends." Before she knew it, she was saying things that she didn't mean to. "And he has this smile that warms your heart. He's hardly ever mad for a long time. He's the best listener and the greatest to talk to when you're having problems. His hugs are the best too. That's what makes him so great…"

The driver nodded. "He sounds wonderful. There's nothing to be nervous about. If anything, you should be excited. He's your best friend, after all, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he is." She smiled.

There was a short silence before the driver looked at her again. "He's not just a best friend, is he?"

Penny's heart jumped a little. "What?"

"You aren't acting like he's your best friend. If he was, you wouldn't be so nervous. There's something more, isn't there?"

"Why do you say that?"

"The way you talk about him. You don't talk about him like he's one of your buddies. It sounds like he means a lot more than that to you."

Penny looked at her hands, suddenly finding it hard to say anything else. She managed to quietly choke out, "Yeah, I guess you're right. Listen, would you mind if I talked to you about it? You don't have to listen, I just want to get this stuff off my chest."

"I'm all ears."

And so began Penny's entire story. "So me and this guy…his name is Leonard. Fourteen years ago, I moved to Pasadena after me and my boyfriend broke up. He was a jerk. Anyway, I moved into this apartment, into apartment 4B. These two guys, these physicists, lived in 4A, across the hall. Their names were Leonard and Sheldon. They were really smart, and sweet, and even though they were totally geeky, I immediately fell in love with them." She beamed at the memory, suddenly feeling a little more at ease.

"And then I met their other two friends. Their names were Howard and Raj. Raj was adorable, and Howard…well, you don't want to know. These four guys became the greatest guys in the world. They meant everything to me. I hung out with them all the time. And even though I didn't get what they were talking about or doing half the time, I still loved them so much. Because you know, they were just so innocent. They had no idea how to act socially, for the most part. I mean, Leonard was a little more knowledgeable about that stuff than the other three guys, but he was still really, really shy. He was always nervous around me, and I thought it was so cute. I knew that he had a little crush on me, and to be honest, the more time I spent with him, the closer to grew to him. He helped me out through everything. Through bad breakups, through my financial problems, through my career. He supported me through everything even though I wasn't a very successful person. Leonard was just a total sweetheart." Penny found herself unintentionally getting choked up over her words, and her emotional state caused the driver to stare at her, somewhat suspiciously.

"And then one day, when he announced that he was going to leave to the North Pole or something for three months, I freaked out. And I didn't know why. I didn't understand why I wanted so badly for Leonard to stay. And then I realized that I was in love with him. I really wanted him to stay, because I could not even imagine what it would be like for me to spend three months without seeing Leonard. Or the rest of them, for that matter. I knew it would just kill me those three months. So when he came over the morning that he was supposed to leave, there was my perfect chance to tell him that I didn't want him to leave. But I hesitated. Because I was so, so scared. I didn't know how he was going to react, I didn't know if what I felt was something worth telling him…I didn't even know if what I felt was real. And I didn't want to risk that with him because I just couldn't do that to Leonard. He's so fragile inside, and the last thing I wanted to do was to tell him that I wanted him to stay and then break his heart."

She found herself crying, and was well aware that she probably looked like a wreck, but didn't stop talking. "It would have killed me to do something like that to him. So I decided that I would rather have a broken heart for a few months than to break his heart forever. At least I would have been able to live with myself. And that's exactly what I did. I hid my feelings from him. And then when he came back…I couldn't help myself. I jumped on him. And that started our relationship. We dated for about nine months, and it was great. It was more than great, it was wonderful. He was so much better than the jerks that I used to date. I was sick of pretty boys breaking my heart or dating me just for sex. Leonard cared about me. He was the first person to actually care about my feelings, and that was…indescribable. I didn't think guys like him ever existed. Of course we had a few fights and disagreements, but nothing that made us hate each other. We may have been total opposites, but we had so much in common. We just fit together. As awkward as he was, I still loved him. And then…we broke up.

Her words were almost unintelligible at this point, and the driver was glancing at her through his rear view mirror every two seconds. "Because of me. It was all my fault. He told me that he loved me, and I freaked out. There was no doubt in my mind that I loved him too, but I just couldn't say it. I was so scared about what was going to happen. I had said those three words to other boyfriends before, and our relationship just ended so quickly after that. I couldn't stand to do that to Leonard. If me saying "I love you" too early meant that our relationship was going to end, there was no way that I was going to take that risk. I could not risk hurting Leonard. That was always the last thing I wanted to do. And then we broke up…and it was awkward for a while, but we decided we could just be friends. Until the day I found out that I was offered an amazing opportunity as a screenwriter in New York. I knew I had to take it because it was so much better than my other job. You see, I was a waitress at The Cheesecake Factory. I was kind of at a dead end in that place. So I accepted, and that meant that I had to move out of my apartment and to the other side of the country. It broke my heart that I had to move away from my four guys, but I knew I had to do it. I told Leonard that we could still keep in touch and stuff, but it never happened. For the next ten months I lived in my new apartment, I wondered why Leonard never contacted me. I called him a few times, but he never called me back. And now, ten years later, I know why. I found a box of his that he gave me on the day that I moved out of Pasadena. And inside, I found a flash drive. Leonard had stored every single piece of memory between us on that flash drive. And he made a video. On the day that I left. He said that he wanted to meet me at Central Park four days after I moved into my new apartment. He must have thought that if I took him up on his offer, that we could get back together. And that we could be boyfriend and girlfriend again. But I never saw that video until this morning. I just felt so bad. I knew I must have crushed his heart by not showing up. And that just killed me.So much.The one wish I had when we were going out was that I wished I could never break his heart. I ended up promising myself that I would never do anything to break his heart. And now I've realized I've broken that promise more than once. I just can't believe I could do that to him. I never wanted to do that to him intentionally. So I looked him up because I wanted to find him and found out that he lives and works in Chicago now, at some big research company. I wanted to find him and apologize. Apologize for everything, since the whole thing was pretty much my fault. I wanted to apologize, most of all, for breaking his heart. More than once. That's it. That's my whole story."

Penny sighed and wiped her tears away, feeling a huge waving of relief rushing over her. "Thanks for listening."

"There's something else, isn't there?" the driver asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"You want to apologize to him…and?"

"T-There's no 'and.' That's it."

"Are you sure? You couldn't have come all the way from New York to Chicago just to apologize to him." She fell silent, thinking about it. The driver was right. It wasn't all she wanted to do. "You want to get back together with him, don't you?"

Penny looked at the driver through the rear view mirror and smiled. "Yeah. You're right. I want him back. I really want him back."

"So that's why you're nervous."

"What do you mean?"

"You're afraid that after ten years and not showing up when he wanted you to, he won't take you back."

"Yeah. And for all I know, he could be married now. He could be in a committed relationship, and I don't have a chance in hell of getting back together with him. It could be a waste of time for all I know. But you know what? That's never stopped me before. There is always a chance that I can get him back. And I'm going to try. Even if it means that I'm just wasting a day of my life trying to get something that I mistakenly left ten years ago. I'll understand if he doesn't take me back, or if he's with someone else. Because it was my fault that I left him. And it was my fault that we lost contact. Even if I can't get him back, I just have to make this right. I just have to."

The driver pulled over to the side of the street, in front of a big, black building, with windows lining each floor. It looked like a corporate business building.

"Here we are."

Penny looked out the window, her heart pounding faster and faster. "Thank you."

"Good luck." He handed her the address back and bid her farewell.

She paid him and tipped him and got out, standing on the street as the cab drove away. The building looked so intimidating. It looked like it was going to eat her alive as soon as she walked inside. She was so scared about what was going to happen. This was her chance. She wondered if he looked the same. She wondered if he was the same at all. Penny smiled, realizing that it was Leonard. He must have been the same. He had to be the same.

As she walked in, she dragged her rolling suitcase behind her. She must have looked like a mess, especially after waking up, crying, getting on an airplane, and spending two hours in a cab, crying again. But she didn't care about what she looked like. She had no time to step into the bathroom and fix herself up. She wanted to see Leonard, and she wanted to see him now.

She approached the front desk, where a woman was sitting in front of a computer. The name on her shirt said Nancy.

"Hi, excuse me."

Nancy looked up at Penny and smiled. "Hello. How can I help you?"

"Um, I'm looking for Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, do you know where I can find him?"

Nancy had a confused look on her face, and she turned to her computer, typing in his name. "I'm sorry, but there's no one here by the name of Leonard Hofstadter."

"Wha-are you sure? I looked him up, and it said that he worked here."

"Oh, you might have the wrong building." Nancy turned back to her computer and retyped his name into a different search engine. "Yes, he doesn't work in this particular building, the address he's at is on the other side of Chicago."

"Oh, you're kidding me. Damn. Can I get that address, please?"

"Sure." She wrote down the address on a slip of paper and handed it to Penny.

"Do you know how long it would take for me to get there by cab?"

"Um, probably about an hour."

"Okay, thanks so much."

"No problem."

Penny walked out of the building, thoroughly frustrated that she had gotten the wrong address. "Just my freaking luck. By the time I get there, he'll probably be at home already."

She glanced at her watch. It was already nine o'clock at night. She was just about ready to give up for the day and find him tomorrow, but she realized that she probably didn't have enough money to stay at a hotel. The first and most reasonable option that popped into her head at this point was to go to his office and wait outside until he came to work the next day. That is, if he even had to work the next day.

Penny stood on the edge of sidewalk, looking out into the dark street, trying to find a cab. She broke down crying after seeing the empty streets. At this point, it seemed impossible for her to even travel to Leonard's building, let alone find him. She had never been to Chicago before, so she knew none of the streets. She considered hitchhiking, but figured that would probably end in disaster. Besides, Leonard had always told her that hitchhiking was dangerous.

So she roamed the streets for an entire hour, looking for a cab. Or any sign of life for that matter. It seemed like there was no life in this part of Chicago. She had no idea where she wandered off to, but she was getting tired at this point. Her arm was cramped up from rolling her suitcase around, and she really wanted to sleep. She started crying again, asking the air in front of her to bring a cab to her so that she can find Leonard. So that she can cry in his arms.

The black night sky was sprinkled with street lights and the barely visible stars. The skyscrapers on the horizon pierced the clouds and disappeared into the atmosphere. She stood on the street, conflicted, disappointed, determined. The few cars passing by appeared dark in the absence of sun. Bright colors became murky. The lights from the street lamps blinded her as she peered into the street, searching for something.

She was searching for an empty car. An empty taxi. She needed one. She needed to find him. That was her journey. And she wasn't about to give up.

She stepped into the wet street, raindrops beginning to fall from the sky, lightly dampening her coat. She absent-mindedly raised her hand, calling out to no one in particular. She seems to think she's calling out for a cab that will not show up, but it is worth a try. Maybe she'll find some generous driver to drive her to Leonard's office. She doesn't care what shows up at this point, she just wants someone to take her to Leonard. She needs to see Leonard.I need to see Leonard.Penny repeated those five words over and over in her head, and now she was definitely determined to see him, no matter how long it took. If it took days, she didn't care. She would sleep on the sidewalk outside of his office waiting for him to show up. To bring her up from the ground and take her in his arms. To bring her to comfort and give her a hug. His hug, that she's wanted for so long. She imagined having Leonard's arms wrapped around her and suddenly she felt warmer, like he was right there with her. She whispered his name, hoping that he was actually in front of her.

Before she realized it, with some strange stroke of luck, one of those yellow cars had pulled up directly in front of her, welcoming her to step into the continuation of her journey. She gasped, bewildered. It was fate, she decided. Fate has made a cab show up.

She handed the driver the address and they went off. Penny smiled, because now was her chance to find him. She hoped to God that she could make it in time to find him at his office before he left. She just had to see him that day. She wanted to see him today. She needed to see him today.

Penny was silent the entire drive over to Leonard's office. The driver didn't strike up any kind of conversation with her. It was probably a good thing too, because Penny didn't really want to speak to anybody. She was so nervous, she knew every single word out of her mouth would be shaky.

She felt herself get more and more tired, but she forced herself to stay awake, telling herself that she was going to see Leonard. She was going to see her best friend in the entire world. She was going to see…the love of her life.

The ride seemed to take an eternity, but Penny was almost grateful that it was a long ride. Because she had no idea what she was going to say to him. What the hell was she going to say if Leonard didn't remember her? Or what was she going to say if she walked into his office and saw his wife in there with his kids? She couldn't just tell him straight out that she loved him.

But there was always that glimmer of hope that Leonard would still be single, and she would be able to get him back. As each minute passed, she went back and forth with what she hoped was going to happen, with what she thought was going to happen. One minute, she would be confident that he would still be single. He is still young, after all. Another minute, she would be completely depressed, sure that he was either married or dating someone so much better than her. Someone smart and pretty and perfect for Leonard.

The cab pulled over to the side of the street, and Penny forced herself to stop thinking about what was going to happen so that she wouldn't be nervous. She handed the driver the right amount of money and stepped out of the cab. She rolled her suitcase next to her and stared up at the building the same way she stared at the other one. Only this particular building seemed a hundred times more intimidating. She walked to the entrance, and up to the front desk, where there was another woman typing on a desktop computer. Her name was Joyce. Penny looked up at the clock behind her before approaching the woman. It was already 11:45. She lost almost all her hope that Leonard was still in his office at this time. But now that she was here, she might as well try.

"Excuse me."

"Hi. How can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, does he work in this building?" Penny's voice started to shake more and more with each word as she got more and more nervous.

"Oh yes, Dr. Hofstadter. His office is on the third floor. His secretary sits right outside his office. Her name is Molly. You can't miss her."

"Thank you so much," Penny sighed with relief.

She stepped into the elevator and pressed the number three on the panel. As the elevator rose, she got so nervous she started getting dizzy. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. It was really happening right now. She was really about to see Leonard.

When the elevator stopped on the third floor, she stepped out and right across from the elevator was a desk. On the side of that desk was a name plate that said, "Molly Jones, Secretary."

Penny walked over and she could tell that Molly was just about to leave, as she was packing up her belongings. She looked a little on edge and a little flustered. Maybe that was typical for secretaries, she thought.

"Hi. Molly?"

She looked up and saw Penny. "Yes. Hi. Can I help you?"

"Uh, I'm here to see Dr. Leonard Hofstadter. Is he still here?"

"Um, what's your name?"

"Penny. My name's Penny Parker."

Molly looked through a little notebook before looking back up at Penny. "Do you have an appointment with him?"

"Oh no, I don't. I just wanted to see him. I have something really important to tell him."

"Okay. One moment."

Molly picked up the phone on her desk and called Leonard. "Hi, Dr. Hofstadter, someone is here to see you. Are you available?"

She hung up and gave Penny a smile. "You're in luck. He's not busy right now, so you can go right in." She motioned to the door.

"Thank you," Penny said.

"No problem."

Penny faced the door of his office. She saw his name on the door, "Dr. Leonard Hofstadter." Her hand was shaking as she reached for the doorknob. She closed her eyes and turned it, opening the door.

Penny looked in, feeling like her heart was about to explode out of her chest. And then she saw him. He was sitting at his desk, and he looked exactly the same, except for the suit he was wearing. He was typing on his laptop, and there was a look of intense concentration in his eyes. Penny let out a sharp breath, finally seeing the guy of her dreams after ten whole years. She left the door open as she walked toward his desk.

Leonard hadn't looked up yet, not realizing who just walked into his office. He finished typing the last of his report before he looked up. And then he saw her.

Everything below him seemed to collapse when he saw her face. His heart jumped up into his throat and he could feel himself about to pass out. Penny walked closer to him as he stood up.

She smiled at him, but for some reason, in his state of shock, Leonard couldn't get himself to smile back.

Penny's smile faded away as she assumed the worst.

"You don't remember me, do you?"

Leonard didn't say anything. Hecouldn'tsay anything. He just walked around his desk to where she was standing and stared into her eyes for a few seconds before pressing his lips against hers.

Penny was shocked by his actions for a moment, but instantly fell into the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck. At this very moment, she wasn't nervous anymore. She couldn't feel more comfortable.

He pulled back, breathing heavily onto her lips before whispering to her, "Of course I remember you." This very moment, Leonard finally realized what was bothering him. He was missing her. He was missing Penny.

Then Penny let everything go. The stress, the tension, the anticipation. Tears flowed down her face as she smiled and kissed him again.

Molly held her purse over her shoulder, staring at Leonard and Penny. It was all too obvious that she was witnessing a reunion. And she immediately saw the connection between them. She smiled, and whispered, "I understand." And this time she did. Molly walked out, and drove home, leaving the two of them alone in Leonard's office.

Leonard had pushed her against his desk, still kissing her passionately. Penny wrapped one of her legs around his waist, running her hands through his hair and returning the passionate kiss. She felt an enormous release. She had finally found what was missing in her life. She was missing him. She was missing Leonard. Now that she had him, she never, ever wanted to let him go, ever again. She couldn't stand to go through what she had been going through for the past few years, searching for something that she didn't even know was missing from her life.

Their lips finally released after a few minutes of ardent kissing, and Penny was mumbling something to him incoherently. Leonard stepped back a little and stood up straight, still looking into her eyes.

Leonard felt himself start to cry. He couldn't help it; it was like some kind of instinctive reflex. The love of his life, the girl that he was pursuing the moment he set his eyes on her, was here in his arms again, after ten years. He never thought he would ever see her again, so to see her here, right in front of him, it was too overwhelming to take in all at once.

By now, Penny was sobbing, trying to speak through her tears. "Leonard, I missed you. I missed you so, so much."

"Me too. Penny, I couldn't stop thinking about you."

Once Penny calmed down, they sat on Leonard's couch, talking.

"Leonard…I need to apologize."

Leonard knew exactly what she wanted to apologize for, but asked anyway. "For what?"

"For not showing up at Central Park. I can explain the whole thing. I hadn't seen your video. I never opened the box that you gave me because I was so busy. I just didn't have time to go through everything. But yesterday, I found the box and I looked through it and I found everything. I was so touched that you kept everything. And when I watched the video this morning, I was crushed when I realized that I left you hanging that day. So I had to find you and talk to you and just apologize for everything. Leonard, can you ever forgive me for that?"

He sighed, looking down at his hands before looking into her eyes. "Penny, you broke my heart that day. I flew to New York and spent the entire day in Central Park waiting for you. But you never showed up, so I thought you never wanted to see or speak to me ever again. I was devastated for months, and that's why I couldn't even date another woman for so long. Because I knew deep down, that they weren't you. Even though I tried to move on from you, it was impossible. I wanted you, Penny. But when you didn't show up, I thought that was it between us. And as much as I hated you that day for not showing up, I knew I couldn't stay mad at you forever. I could never be mad at you. So Penny, I forgave you a long time ago. I was just waiting for you to show up. And now you have."

Penny smiled, tears still rolling down her face. Leonard wiped his hand across her cheek, drying away her tears.

"Leonard?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

I was lost, but now I'm found.

Awesome fic art made bytobimonkee:)


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